BY STEPHANIE VALENTE
Rituals are especially important in our lives. Rituals are a marvelous tool for the self, for spell work, and best of all, for boosting confidence. Whether you know it or not, you can increase your self-love and confidence by making a few simple teaks and instilling some daily rituals to ground yourself and your magical life.
Here at 4 tips on gaining confidence with rituals. Don't just get satisfied, get satiated.
1. Establish a sacred morning routine. Every morning, you should have a practice that builds magic and confidence for you. This doesn't mean you have to get sky clad, light a bunch of candles, and embark on a multi-step, complicated process. Perhaps you pull a tarot card while making your tea, write a few morning pages, recite an affirmation, scream to death metal for a few moments, perform a thank-you spell, or meditate for five minutes.
Whatever morning rituals you embark on, do what works for you. There are no rules. What's best of all is that you test out a few rituals, keep what works, and shed what doesn't.
2. Do ritual self-care in spare minutes or moments. You should treat yourself to self-care several times a day. My favorite rituals are small and sacred moments, like taking a ten minute walk in my neighborhood, cleaning my skin and applying moisturizer every morning, playing with my dog before bedtime, reading one short story or poem a day, stretching at your lunch break for five minutes.
In fact, I believe that the smaller or more actionable the ritual, the easier it is to do every day or more than once a day, like say, checking in with two friends every day for a 10 minute call each. If you can do a ritual in two minutes or less, why not make it a part of your everyday routine?
Agent Cooper from Twin Peaks said it best: "I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair or two cups of good hot black coffee."
Just let it happen.
3. Be honest with yourself. Keep a journal, log your rituals even, and of course, set boundaries. Rituals should be natural, fun, and inviting. Dropping your mail in the post office box can be a ritual, buying a newspaper before your work commute is a ritual, baking cookies every Tuesday night is a ritual, chatting with your elderly neighbor every night when you get home from work is ritual, volunteering your time once a week is a ritual.
If a ritual feels stressful or obligatory, stop. Of course, we have to pay bills, go to work, talk to coworkers and relatives. But if something is stressful, look at the root. Is it how the event or task is performed? Adding a ritual to your boundaries or creating boundaries with rituals will make you feel more whole and confident.
4. Carry a special object or wear an essential oil that has meaning just for you. For me, I carry a small sliver of rose quartz in my bag to remind myself that I am loved and have love for the world and its inhabitants around me. The more love I feel and see, the more I give, and the more I look for. From this ritual, I see less negativity in me and the world around me.
I also carry a teeny tiny medallion of Mary in my coin purse because I felt so strongly about the object when I first saw it. I'm not sure what else it means yet, because it's a ritual I've slowly started working on since I found the object two months ago.
Piggybacking on this thinking, I often wear essential oils on my neck, clavicle, and wrists. The act of dabbing on the scented oil feels so glamorous to me (like a classic film!), but the scents also make me feel powerful. One of my personal favorite oils is Witch Queen from Catland. You can recreate this ritual with an oil you already have, a perfume you adore, or you can make your own.
Stephanie Valente lives in Brooklyn, NY. She is a Young Adult novelist, short fiction writer, poet, editor, content & social media strategist. In short, she wears many hats. Especially if they have feathers. Some of her writing has appeared in Bust Magazine, Electric Cereal, Prick of the Spindle, The 22 Magazine, Danse Macabre, Uphook Press, Literary Orphans, Nano Fiction, and more. She has provided content strategy, copy, blogging, editing, & social media for per’fekt cosmetics, Anna Sui, Agent Provocateur, Patricia Field, Hue, Montagne Jeunesse, Bust Magazine, Kensie, Web100, Oasap, Quiz, Popsugar, among others.